Lately the weather has been so bipolar and consequently so have I

I’ve fallen off the face of the earth temporarily. Lately, the job search has finally taken a toll on me.

I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Words can’t even begin to cover the storm of frustration I’ve been fighting. Where is my job?

I have the skills set. I can do what the job entails. The only problem is I don’t have the X amount of experience that is supposedly required. Then how will I get experience if no one hires me? You want the quality work of your media organization to continue? Then invest in the future!

At the same time, I’ve been learning that what my resume contains or lacks doesn’t define me as a person or my self-worth, and I can’t give up or let myself be discouraged. Because for me, defeat begins the minute despair sets in. It’s when you stop trying. It’s when the dream dies. I hate that I’ve been so close to that.

So now, my new plan is to keep myself as busy as possible–whether it’s making smoothies and vegetable soup from scratch, doing dishes, cleaning the house, teaching my grandpa how to use a computer, etc.

I can’t have any more of those idle, listless days where I have the opportunity to sit and stew over what’s [not] happening in my life, because when has thinking about something made my situation better or done anything productive for me? I must have thought myself out of happiness and peace a thousand times and never once into it.

I’m just going to be and not think (within reason, obviously not an invitation to make bad decisions).

Speaking of good decisions, I went to the Blazers-Jazz game at the Rose Garden last night and cheered on the Blazers (yay for free tickets which had pretty decent seats from my boss) with my friend Christopher–who was actually enjoying the music and the advertisements more so than the game.

Portland lost, but it was still good to see him on so many levels because we’re kind of in the same boat. We’re both degree-holding (homeboy already has a masters degree at 22), working minimum wage, working a job that does not use our degrees, looking for a permanent position, living back at the parents’ house, toting around emotional baggage and the list could go on.

Moral of the story: I appreciate any and all encouragement from people, but it was nice to get encouragement from someone who at this point in time, could truly relate to my situation.

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