Thanksgiving from the trenches

Lately, I’ve been MIA and it’s been a crazy fight. I’ve seen a few of my friends who are in similar situations (underemployed j-school grads) coast towards depression, anger and bitterness and I’m determined not to be one of those casualties.

One way I fight it is to keep reminding myself of what I’m blessed to have (and not have) and especially on Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for:

  1. Family/Friends – I am so blessed to have these people in my life. I am so grateful for their love, faith, support and trust (in their own ways). I’m not sure where I’d be without these people who made such a positive impact on my life. They’ve taught me to live, to forgive, to trust in God and myself, how to have fun, and so much more. Though many of them are not with me on this day, I’m still thinking of and thankful for them.
  2. Change – I am definitely thankful for the fact that change is an inevitable part of life. Even when I’m not in the best of situations, I am comforted knowing that it will change eventually. I know I won’t stay where I am forever as long as I keep trying to change it.
  3. Health – I’m so thankful that I’ve been blessed with great health. My body and my immune system are strong. Screw healthcare; it’s not like I need it anyways, though obviously it would be nice to have.
  4. A Job (though not THE job) – Yes, as much as I complain about my job, it’s good to have one in this economy while I’m waiting on THE job (the one that uses my journalism degree). At least I’m making some money instead of wasting away.
  5. Being done with collegeTuition hikes?! Not on my forecast. I’m glad to know that I won’t have to live in fear about my university increasing my tuition (at least until I seriously consider graduate school).
  6. The Fame Monster – Gaga has done it again!! I just got this album yesterday and it has been spinning on the ‘Pod. My fave tracks (other than Bad Romance) are Alejandro, Monster, Dance in the Dark and Telephone (feat. Beyonce), but really all the tracks are good stuff.
  7. Where I live – Okay, so living at home is not my favorite place to be at this time of my life, but I can’t complain against no rent/food expenses, perfect, humidity-free summers and driving 10 minutes to Portland to buy stuff sales tax-free.
  8. Nordstrom – In all seriousness, words cannot express how awesome this retailer is. Ordering stuff and getting it shipped to me for free? Free alterations? Easy returns? Great customer service? Reasons why I buy almost everything I wear here. Yes.
  9. My REAL/RIGHT job – I know for sure it’s out there. It’s just a matter of timing–when it’s ready and when I’m ready for it at the same time.
  10. That this list is always growing



The obvious: spam, irrationally irritation, UGG boots, Wake up with Jess

I’ve been getting a ton of spam DMs on Twitter, and it’s annoying when everyone’s like, “my account got hacked!!1!!111!!!!”

No, it’s not that “oh, poor me, my account was viciously sought out by hackers and I’m totally the victim.” Actually, it’s “I was dumb enough to click a very convincing link I was not expecting and now I am reaping the consequences and placing the blame on everyone except myself.”

You know the site My Mom is a FOB (and the counterpart My Dad is a FOB)? It’s like my mom wrote the entire blog, but not the funny ones. Sometimes I just get so irritated by her. One of my friends from high school told me that I always get irritated easily. And I was like, “some things never change.” But really, you can’t control what people say/do, you can only control how you react to what they say/do. So if my mom keeps saying outrageous stuff, I can a) get offended by it and start an argument b) do nothing, let it slide off and choose to not be offended by it c) write it all down and eventually make it into sitcom (much like Shit My Dad Says) OR d) b and c. Short story: I’m learning that it’s your choice to be offended by something.

Like UGGs, which I choose to not longer offend me. I see why they’re named “UGG” because ugg[h], I just bought these:

Picture 4

UGG Sundance II, via Nordstrom

They’re $243.00 of sheepskin, toasty goodness, but I could only wear them with jeans (no way I am wearing them with a skirt, not how I roll) or if my personal style was boho-chic (which it is not).

I used to be a hater, but my feet and best friend convinced me otherwise. “You’ll never want to take them off your feet again,” she said. But I’m still torn on them. Somehow I still manage to have warm, yet cold feet.

In good news, as much as my interim job annoys me, the best part about working at a smoothie place is making up your own! I recently invented this delicious smoothie, which will take over the smoothie world.

I call it the Wake up with Jess smoothie:

  • 1/8 cup turbinado (raw cane sugar)
  • 1/2 cup blueberries
  • 1 tablespoon peanut butter
  • 1/4 cup granola
  • 1/8 cup yogurt
  • 1 banana
  • 2 cups ice

It’s sweet, nutritious, wholesome and good for you (and your self-esteem). Come in sometime in the morning and I’ll make you a 24oz of goodness for $4.64.

Only in Portland…

…can people feel it’s okay to leave your boss tearful voicemails explaining you didn’t go to work last weekend because you were so exhausted from being “really stoned.” REALLY? Who would tell your BOSS that? Apparently someone (who is a 26-year-old U of O grad) from my job just did that. Hilarious.

Maybe Portland is one of the few places where it’s cool to do that (seriously, anything goes here–otherwise, you will be accused of being a Republican). Living here is a love-hate relationship. I hate living with my parents. But I love not paying sales tax. I hate not being near any of my friends. But I also love not paying for anything. The list goes on.

Oh, and while I’m at it, I’m loving the Portland-speak dialect. It’s full on rad.

From the city of [brotherly] love, indeed!

I am pretty much in love with this project, A Love Letter For You.

A Love Letter For You was started by Stephen Powers with the City of Philadelphia Mural Arts Program and is sponsored by the Pew Center for Arts & Heritage through the Philadelphia Exhibitions Initiative.

Basically, people submit their thoughts on love, what love means to them, excerpts from their own love story, etc. Local painters come together and make those words happen on the sides of buildings (which are best viewed while riding the subway in West Philly). This means less ugly and neglected-looking buildings and more positive messages of hope and love.

I really like the concept of this. Something like it needs to happen in Portland. Or on a t-shirt. Or in my real life (future husband, if you’re reading, please propose to me using something like this).

It won’t be Valentine’s Day for a while. Still feeling the love?

(via Heavy Backpack)

More proof that Asians never age

Over the past few months, I have encountered this scenario many, many times:

Well-meaning stranger: So what do you go to school for?
Jess: Oh, I’m not in school. I just graduated in June.
Well-meaning stranger: Okay, so where do you plan to go to college?
Jess: No, no, I just graduated from college.
Well-meaning stranger: Oh, so this is awkward. I thought you meant high school.
Jess: Yeah, I get that a lot.

My mom gets a variation of this also, especially when people think we look like sisters. So, my friends have this theory: Asians just don’t age. When they do get old, they just instantly turn into cute little grandmas.

You know Hello Kitty? The cute cat from Japan? Homegirl is 35 now and she doesn’t look a day older!

Renegade handmade, or when cute goes horribly wrong

YES. Say hello to the Awkward Family Photos, Cake Wrecks and People of Walmart of the independent craft world!

Most of you know about Etsy, the site for cute, handmade items by independent artists (I don’t like to call them crafters). Though maybe 90 percent of Etsy merchandise is buyable, the 10 percent that is not lives on Regretsy.

This site is outrageous. Visit it and be prepared for hours of WTFing at items such as the Meerkat nativity scene or the masturbating dinosaur wall art or the pink leopard goat coat.


No joke. This is for real. And if you actually like them, you can purchase those ridiculous items, since there’s a link to the creator’s shop in the post.

This really makes me wonder–what is up with our fascination with the worst?

(via If It’s Hip, It’s Here)

Behold, my investigative journalist skills in action

Like the rest of America, I have been captivated by the TV show Glee. It’s light, fluffy and cute–sounds like a kitten, but one that sings! I love Emma Pillsbury, the guidance counselor! She’s adorable, dresses well and hates germs, which makes her on my cool list.

Jayma Mays plays Emma, and she’s been in Heroes, Entourage and Pushing Daisies, but she’s also a Drunk History alum! For those of you who have not experienced the awesomeness of Drunk History–you need to.

If you didn’t like history in school, you’ll like it better when it’s told drunk.

In Drunk History, historians get drunk and discuss historical events (what I wouldn’t give for ANY of my history professors to get drunk and tell me about Manifest Destiny or the Mexican Cession) while actors and actresses lip-sync. Michael Cera, Jack Black and Danny McBride have all sat in the wig and petticoats.

She was in Drunk History 2.5 (another of the Ben Franklin ones with Jack Black), which I think is the best one. Check it out here: