I’ve been getting a ton of spam DMs on Twitter, and it’s annoying when everyone’s like, “my account got hacked!!1!!111!!!!”
No, it’s not that “oh, poor me, my account was viciously sought out by hackers and I’m totally the victim.” Actually, it’s “I was dumb enough to click a very convincing link I was not expecting and now I am reaping the consequences and placing the blame on everyone except myself.”
You know the site My Mom is a FOB (and the counterpart My Dad is a FOB)? It’s like my mom wrote the entire blog, but not the funny ones. Sometimes I just get so irritated by her. One of my friends from high school told me that I always get irritated easily. And I was like, “some things never change.” But really, you can’t control what people say/do, you can only control how you react to what they say/do. So if my mom keeps saying outrageous stuff, I can a) get offended by it and start an argument b) do nothing, let it slide off and choose to not be offended by it c) write it all down and eventually make it into sitcom (much like Shit My Dad Says) OR d) b and c. Short story: I’m learning that it’s your choice to be offended by something.
Like UGGs, which I choose to not longer offend me. I see why they’re named “UGG” because ugg[h], I just bought these:
UGG Sundance II, via Nordstrom
They’re $243.00 of sheepskin, toasty goodness, but I could only wear them with jeans (no way I am wearing them with a skirt, not how I roll) or if my personal style was boho-chic (which it is not).
I used to be a hater, but my feet and best friend convinced me otherwise. “You’ll never want to take them off your feet again,” she said. But I’m still torn on them. Somehow I still manage to have warm, yet cold feet.
In good news, as much as my interim job annoys me, the best part about working at a smoothie place is making up your own! I recently invented this delicious smoothie, which will take over the smoothie world.
I call it the Wake up with Jess smoothie:
- 1/8 cup turbinado (raw cane sugar)
- 1/2 cup blueberries
- 1 tablespoon peanut butter
- 1/4 cup granola
- 1/8 cup yogurt
- 1 banana
- 2 cups ice
It’s sweet, nutritious, wholesome and good for you (and your self-esteem). Come in sometime in the morning and I’ll make you a 24oz of goodness for $4.64.
JESS IS MORE 
I will say the smoothie does sound delicious, however with a name like “Wake Up With Jess” it brings certain dirty connotations to mind. Unless it was your intent and it’s a filthy, filthy double entendre or it’s simply an innocent oversight from someone with less of a filthy mind than mine, which — either way — makes me chuckle, you may change it or just hope nobody takes it as an (ahem) invitation. This whole comment is probably useless but I thought I’d chime in with my two cents, good job on the blog once again.